FLOWERING PORCUPINES

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PORCUPINUS FRANGIPANUS GRIFFINIS NESLER  

I HAD A DREAM LAST NIGHT. IN MY DREAM, MY BROTHER, DIRTY JACK NESLER, AND I WERE SCHEMING TO FIND AN ENTREPRENEURIAL PLAN TO SAVE OUR FINANCIAL ASSES FROM THE ECONOMIC RUIN RAINED DOWN ON US BY THE TRUMP PANDEMIC.

IN MY DREAM, DIRTY JACK AND I HAD ……….

 

 

 

 

……………………………………..  RETREATED TO GRIFFIN AND FORMED A BIOLOGICAL RESEARCH COMPANY TO DEVELOP HYBRIDIZED FLOWERS AND GARDEN VEGETABLES.

OUR GOAL WAS TO PRODUCE PLANTS IMPERVIOUS TO THE TRUMP PANDEMIC, AND ALSO BOTH DELICIOUS TO EAT AND ALLURING TO THE EYE. HYBRID PLANTS FOR WHICH ORDINARY PEOPLE WOULD BE HAPPY TO SHELL OUT A BIG PRICE TO USE AS BOTH FOOD AND ENTERTAINMENT.  

As in all experimental science, our hybridization work, included a mixed bag of successes and failures. And, often times, which results were a success and which were failures was not always immediately clear. 

Purely by accident, Dirty and I created a flowering porcupine, which we named Porcupinus Frangipani Griffinis Nesler . P.F. G. Nesler was a wild success as far as sales went. Not only did these happy little creatures have beautiful flowers sprouting from their bodies,  but they were also born with a small repertoire of song and dance routines written into their genetic code and a natural facility for learning new song and dance routines to add to those they were born with.

People loved these little show business critters and they were magnificent, when baked into porcupine pot pies or porcupine pot roasts.  

Dirty and I owned an airtight patent on everyone of them that was born, in or out of our labs. and we were selling them faster than the little creatures could propagate themselves.

In my dream the Nesler boys of Griffin were on a financial roll. Everything to do with money was coming up roses for us. Or, more properly, I guess you could say coming up flowering porcupines for us.  

The only real drawback, to inventing these critters was that, because of their popularity and the public’s wild love of them, every doorway that Jack and I owned, had developed hard trodden paths, nay, more like RUTS actually, leading directly to said doorways, as people from all over the world, beat paths to our homes and workshops to buy our flowering porcupines. Or, to gift us prototypes of new improved mouse traps to show their appreciation for our work. Or, to try to trade us straight across one of their better mouse traps for one of our flowering porcupines. 

So, now in my dream, we are up to our ears in better mouse traps, but I guess that is sort of a luxury problem, if you view it philosophically.  

 

Posted by Ron Nesler from New Harmony, Indiana

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